Step 2: Educate yourself. As your child's most powerful advocate, the more you know the better off you will be. Don't be afraid to ask questions, for example: "Can you give me a specific example of Jeff's 'off-task behavior'?" "What time of day does Carly seem to have the most difficulty?" or "What can I do to help Matt at home?" Making a list of questions for your child's teacher, doctor, or other professional can be calming and empowering. Remember, there are no stupid questions. You may be faced with many new and unfamiliar terms and abbreviations. Do not be afraid to ask for clarification.

 

Step 3: Treat yourself as an expert on your child. Make a list of observations about your child that may be relevant. For example, how long it takes your child to complete his homework, if there have been any major changes at home (the death of a pet, the birth of a sibling, a move, etc.), or any changes in your child's behavior such as difficulty sleeping or changes in appetite or energy level. Know that you have valuable information to add to the conversation. Keep copies of your child's schoolwork; examples of both success and failure. This will give those assisting him a better picture of his strengths and weaknesses.

 

Step 4: Put together a support team.

For yourself: Find someone such as a trustworthy friend, family member or counselor who can listen to you vent without passing judgment or offering unsolicited advice. Support groups and parent hotlines exist for parents whose children have learning differences. The Internet has a wealth of information and resources. Some great places to start are: http://www.ldonline.org/ and http://www.autismspeaks.org/. Do not be afraid to ask for help for yourself so that you can better help your child. Feeling alone is often the most difficult part of caring for a struggling child.

 

For your child: Keeping your child's self-esteem intact is a monumental task, and one that should not be tackled alone. Nothing can replace the unconditional love and acceptance of a parent, but knowing that you have a coach, minister, teacher, or mentor who is also supporting and encouraging your child can make a huge difference. Consider your child's gifts. Perhaps she is a gifted athlete or artist. Creative or athletic pursuits can provide a much-needed refuge from the stresses of school.

 

Step 5: Make a plan. If you have further questions for your child's teacher, set up an additional conference. Ambushing her at the classroom door at the beginning of the school day will probably not be well-received. Decide with your child's teacher what your next steps should be. In order for your child to receive services and accommodations from the public school system, she will need an Individualized Education Plan (IEP).